So here I am on a train (thank goodness it was canceled again today) headed to Bangkok from Butterworth (near Penang). It’s been quite an interesting two weeks, and as the title to this section of blog entries, unexpected. There have been plenty of up and downs and more stories then I can even begin to tell.
I’ve traveled the length of the country, from bottom to top. Starting in Melaka and working my way up through Kuala Lumpur, Cameron Highlands, and finally Penang. One of these days I’ll have to go back and try and calculate the distance I’ve traveled (in km and miles).
My feelings at the moment are quite mixed. I’ve been so many places, seen so many things and met so many people. To many of you out there that might seem like the greatest thing in the world. The freedom seems breathtaking and almost unbelievable in its scale. How you would love to do the same thing if only it was possible…
Hate to break it to you but it’s not all the fun and games you might think it to be. The day in and day out stress of always being on the edge, always having to deal with the unknown, and never knowing where the next issue is going to arise, those stresses pile up fast (and you can see the results of that in my last post).
What I’m describing sounds like normal life, right? Everyone’s got the same worries and such, right? Well, the difference between me and them is that they have safe places to retreat to, they have friends they can sit down and talk with, they don’t have to meet every challenge head on all the time. Me, well, I have no place to run to and there isn’t anyone around the corner to hold my hand. All day, every day and without respite those things are probing my defense looking for a way to tear me down.
There are good days and there are bad. Overall what I’m doing is a hell of a lot of fun. Those moments in between are the ones I live for. Sitting on a ferry with the wind beating at your face taking your breath away with each gust…the combination of fear and excitement of leaving a place you just got used to for one completely unknown…the rush of almost pure joy when realization of what I’m doing breaks through the fog of everyday life… It’s those brief excerpts from the normal that I cherish. If it was always that good…well…it can’t be and I wouldn’t want it to be. Up and down, the law of the universe.
So, as I was saying before, my feelings are mixed and I’m leaving Malaysia. It’s been a good time and I’ve met bunches of awesome people who, thanks to Facebook, I can keep in touch with pretty easily. Malaysia has been the most educational country for me to date. The number of applicable life lessons that I’ve learned, well, there’s been a lot.
There’s still another 16 hours of train ride ahead of me. Tomorrow, Bangkok.
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Yeah that sounds about right, I’ve found it helps to have a final destination and some kind of timeline as to when to get there. It’s a whole different beast without one. I hope things stay higher than lower but in the future your memory has a pretty cool filter that will laugh at most of your misfortunes.
Don’t forget your goals Amidst the rapture of exploration… I find stress is often my bodies subconcious way of telling me I’m not doing something im supposed to , a whole different beast than worry…. I suspect it will help to stay on focus.
P.S. Now you get to figure out how to explain how much work photography is to the public that believes it’s just pressing some buttons.
PPS congrats on the other blog mentions and enjoy the train trip